Jak is a Crocadog
by Snowneco
Summary: Just one bump on the head and Dark Jak is stuck thinking he's a pet reptilian pooch. How will the gang take this? And can they help him regain his usual personality? Crack!fic.
1. Chapter 1

**Jak is a Crocadog  
**Chapter One

Jak was sitting in a puddle of black ooze, and staring intently at his legs which were bowed out in front of him. Though showing a look of distress, or perhaps confusion, the angry young teen seemed fine. Well, fine for someone who (due to over exposure of the very eco he was sitting in) had black horns protruding his white hair and in desperate need of a tan.

Daxter looked about his furry body for cuts and breaks. A fall from the top of that sea container was sure to hurt something, but other than a few definite bruises and a dull throb in his shoulder, he was fine too. And the latter - he could feel - was dislocated. Just what he needed. First, rescuing Vin; then the bombs malfunction; now the eco overdose, and a dislocated shoulder. They were _never_ coming to the strip mine again. Dax observed Jak and his claws; he didn't look like he was going to level out for a while yet so he reevaluated asking him to straighten his shoulder.

"I told you we shouldn't have come here!" Daxter cried, "If those idiots at Haven want these metal head eggs taken out so bad, they can do it themselves." _Even though the Demolition Duo had already done it. __**Not **__the __**point**__._

Inky eyes darted across and Daxter leaned away, completely taken aback.

Jak is- wait, was he? Oh precursors, Jak is _smiling_. And what's scarier is it's, in fact, _Dark Jak_ who's smiling. But too be fair, he was looking at Dax rather hungrily with a grin that stretched impossibly far.

"Uh. Jak, you feelin' alright, buddy-boy. You landed pretty hard there." Daxter quietened and stepped back from Jak who now was on his knees, the rest of his body sprawled out in front like a stretching muse. That eco just couldn't be good for him. "Hey, hey! You're getting eco everywhere. Aw, c'mon?" Daxter trailed off and rubbed the bridge of his nose, kicking a pile of stones.

With zero warning, dark Jak leaped forward and pinned Daxter down with his shoulders. The ottsel felt an almighty pop and screamed general abuse until his yelling shrank to a hiss.

Jak tilted his head and wined loudly, before growling, "Dax, Dax let's play!"

"Get off me!" Daxter took a moment to determine the big, excited, smiling, _human being_ pinning him to the grey earth. "What's wrong with you?"

"I'm a crocadog." Jak barked and stepped off Dax, crouching and panting through his grin.

"Uh, a what?" Daxter cleaned out his ears. His helmet must have gotten in the way because he was hearing things. "A croca-"

"Dog. Yes. Woof."

Daxter squinted. Obviously Jak had hit his head pretty hard; and Torn was going to _love_ this.

* * *

_Chapter one of a short fic I wrote after just a little too much to drink. What can I say? It was the weekend? _  
_Anyway, once I fix all the typos up, I'll update. For those who follow S-F too, I will be updating ASAP, but I think that's a fic I don't want tampered with after a party... Seeing as it's Australia Day long weekend and sleep is for the weak and dead, I'll say Tuesday at the latest. Please hold me too that, I get lazy on holidays. Feel free to nag me too, it get's me off my big butt!_

_Anyway, enjoy the fruits of my intoxicated mind crack!fic. _

_Love, Sun_


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

So there was an upside to all of this, Daxter quickly learned, is that Jak still talked, which meant he understood and obeyed general commands. Kind of like 'don't chew that blaster ammo canister', 'put the ottsel down, you're hurting me' and 'no, that big man does not want to play fetch.' And so forth. Which made getting him back to the underground past the nearly cataleptic Vin, and past the guards a little easier.

By the time they got to the Underground, Torn was in his usual stance at his desk. Daxter waddled down onto the center floor and leaped to the desk. Jak had sat himself on the corner of a bunk bed and was casually gnawing on his ankle, which, in his state, could have been kind of normal. To anyone in this situation besides Torn. Totally understandable of course because he'd have to cope with two shocks to the system. One, Jak was infected with dark eco, a substance that should kill most people on contact, instead it had changed him into what looked like a monster. Without any kinder words for it. And two, he was acting strange, and considering the black eyes, huge horns, and claws, he was being surprisingly gentle… for a monster… gnawing on his leg…

"What the actual-" Torn started, pushing himself up from his plans and maps.

Daxter flattened down the hair on the back of his neck as Jak whimpered, obviously bitten too hard. "So, we've got a situation here, Ink-boy"

Which was pretty clear as the dark one lifted his head, suddenly noticing Torn. "Hi friend!" He growled.

"Friend!?" Torn nearly crowed. Never had he ever considered Jak a friend, a colleague, an individual mad enough to be a poker chip, maybe even one of his best soldier. Certainly not a friend.

"You're lucky he actually likes you!" Daxter threw his hands in the air, "It was almost impossible to get him past the guards, which by the way, he isn't a fan of. He growled half the time here, attracting as must attention as a pink metal head!" Not to mention the walking on four legs, or the barking, or the whole dark thing.

Torn bit the inside of his cheek, though not even his poker face could betray the slight amusement as Jak tumbled over like a new born yakkow (not used to his four legs yet). "What happened?"

Daxter was obviously not amused by his sidekick's escapades. He looked up to Torn through his eyebrows, "Well I can't decide. Maybe it was the dark eco he fell in, or the bump on the head. Or maybe it was damn both because you can't find anyone madder than me and Jak to go do these stupid missions!"

Jak dusted off his hands, deciding that two legs were easier than four anyway and ran up to Torn's face. Sniffing him and squinting his big black eyes. Suddenly, deciding he was trustworthy he sat on the ex-guards feet and panted, "I like this man, he smells like a friend."

"I smell like a-"

"Friend."

Torn couldn't hold it in any longer, with a huge breath he exhaled into reckless laughter until Daxter's face was picture perfect confusion. Almost as if he never thought it possible the man knew how to do that.

"Oh, this is golden." Torn wiped his eye and patted the top of Jak's head. "Good boy."

Jak, looking very pleased with himself leaned on his friends leg.

Though Daxter imagined he wouldn't be looking so happy when he got back to normal. Not since Torn now had his camera out.

* * *

_Hi again, _

_So I've been busy, busy, busy! Good to finally be able to upload things again. Thank's to all who are reading, you are all champions as always. But I hope this isn't too disgraceful. And I also encourage you to check out Pr-anx, we've just completed After Friendship and words can't describe my pride for this woman... Now, onto the sequel!_

_Oh, also, my deviant account is now officially up. When I upload the new Sandover - Foundastions chapter there will be some art going up too. Feel free to check it out. Directions will be on my profile. Also the artwork on the covers of my stories are mine, no flames please, I know they're 'different' but please bare with me until I get some real stuff up on Deviant Art. If you're interested anyway! _

_There will be funny and fluffy comics, some things to do with the work Ii post on here, and lifelike drawings of Jak and Daxter how I see them in my head-cannon. _

_Hope to see you there!_

_Love, Sunny_


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

The pictures developed from Torn's old broken camera came out with astonishingly good quality, apparently even good enough to be sent to everyone he knew. It wasn't long before the word got out that Torn had a pet crocadog in disguise of Jak, and most had to see for themselves.

In the meantime, Jak had discovered a few things. Scratching behind one's ear with one's own foot proved difficult. It's not such a great idea to chew on Torn's spare pair of shoes because who knew where they had been. And lastly, to Daxter's eternal embarrassment, no he could not actually lick himself clean.

For some like Ashelin and even Samos, seeing did not equal believing. But others like Sig and Jinx, the whole situation was absolutely delicious.

"Watch this." Torn picked up his tattered shoe and grinned. "Jakkie boy, what's this?"

Jak immediately stopped sniffing a fascinating spot near the Underground wall, his ears perked up and a long pink tongue lolled out of his mouth. His eye's excited but completely calm until he saw the shoe, his toy shoe, and he wanted it thrown. Jak – after a small panic seizure – dropped himself to a stance low to the ground. Haunches wide and hands spread, ready to play _fetch_ with no other than his _friend_.

Torn lobbed the boot to the end of the alley and smiled as Jak, not ran, but _pranced_ towards the shoe and trotted back with a spring in his step. Hands tipped and pointed down, elbows to his sides, kind of like a two legged mouse.

Sig and Jinx fell onto each other, roaring into the other's shoulders and nearly collapsing from the sight. Ashelin was completely undecided. Keira watched the whole performance with her face the flawless hue of a tomato. And Samos, for the first time in his life, maybe felt sorry for the dumb blonde. _If that run wasn't so funny._

"Here, boy." Torn held his hand out for the boot as Jak approached and, forgetting his size, the croca-colleague bowled him to the ground. Dropping the unfortunate, slobbery shoe to the floor.

"Awe! Who's such a good boy?" Torn got to his feet and leaned back in pride.

Jak's ears peaked in delight, "I am! I'm a good boy. Can I have a pat now please, friend?"

"Of course you can, bud." Torn passed the camera to Sig who happily took far too many snap shots of Jak having his ear scratched.

Daxter jumped down from his sanctuary on Tess's shoulder, "hey, c'mon guys. Don't you think this has gone far enough?"

The very red faced Keira snatched the camera away from Sig and he pouted. The bluenette was always is such a fun-sucker.

"What is going on here?" She demanded.

"I'm a crocadog." Jak bared his fangs in a huge, uh, smile?

Keira stormed up to him, "if you're a crocadog, shouldn't you **_only_** be barking?"

Jak let this process before he nodded, "bark!"

After a moment of worried staring with the rest of the group, Daxter face-palmed. **_Hard_**_._ "Keira, what have you done?"

* * *

_Hiya,_

_Not much to say on this one. Just thank you to all who have reviewed, read, faved and followed! Some of them make me laugh. _

_Oh, and even though this is a set fic, I accept ideas and inspiration to do more chapters before Jakky snaps out of it. Seeing as only three chapters in, we're already nearly done. Though there is much more crack on the way! _

_Love chu!_

_~Sunnn_


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